“We don’t want to talk to you.”

The words stopped me in my tracks. I had run over to the usual corner of the playground to play with my friends … but as I approached they all closed their eyes and fell silent. I didn’t know what to say or do. What had I done wrong? Dejected, I turned around and slowly walked over to the swings. It was the first of many days that I would spend recess alone with just my own thoughts for company.

This is a vivid memory I have from fourth grade at Noble Elementary School. For most of the school year, I was friendless. Every day at recess, I resolved to swing by myself until it was time to go back inside. My mother, who worked at the school as a secretary, was forced to watch this unfold with no way to stop it. She has told me many times over the years that this was a heartbreakingly painful memory for her too.

I think most of us have some kind of memory like this – perhaps for you it was being the last to be chosen for someone’s team, betrayal from someone you thought was your friend, or simply outright rejection from your peers.

By the grace of God, I have since forgiven those classmates from long ago. I don’t harbor any ill will or resentment toward them (in fact, much the opposite), but the hurt they caused left scars on my heart that I still feel.

I wish I could say that I don’t wrestle with feeling accepted anymore … but if I’m honest, it’s still a daily struggle for me.

Recently, I’ve had experiences that have left me feeling overlooked or left out by people I look up to. Granted, because of past rejection, I’m extremely sensitive, and I’m certain these people did not mean to hurt my feelings. But still, that scar on my heart begins to ache, and I feel like that 10-year-old girl all over again.

In times like these, there’s a lyric from the song “Forgiven” by Sanctus Real that I try to remember:

“When I don’t fit it and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere,
When I don’t measure up to much in this life,
I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ.”

– “Forgiven” by Sanctus Real

I’ve never seen myself as popular or having lots of friends, but there’s one thing that I’ve always known – I have a heavenly Father who created me and adores me just the way I am – no strings attached. And he feels the exact same way about every person on this planet, including you.

I also remind myself that nobody was rejected by others more than Jesus himself. Jesus was rejected by his own people on so many levels – the religious leaders scorned him, his own hometown of Nazareth disowned him, and even his closest friends, the disciples, turned their backs on him in his darkest hour.

Remember in Luke 19:41 when Jesus looked out over Jerusalem and wept over it? I can only imagine the bitter tears and anguish he felt at being his people’s chosen Messiah … only to be met with utter hatred and contempt. To this day, he still cherishes the Jewish people and longs for them to be redeemed.

I can’t fathom how Jesus endured all this emotional trauma and still willingly chose to sacrifice himself for the redemption of mankind, including those very same people. If Jesus can do that, then I know he can help me to overcome my own fear of rejection – to press on and pursue the plans he has for me, no matter what others think (or don’t think) about me.

I’ll leave you with a nugget of wisdom from 1 Samuel 16:7. The prophet Samuel is about to anoint the future king of Israel that God hand-picked from the brood of Jesse in Bethlehem. Samuel was introduced to Jesse’s sons, all strapping, impressive-looking young men … but God told Samuel that none of them were his chosen one, which shocked Samuel. God then said:

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

– 1 Samuel 16:7

It was then that Jesse told Samuel that his youngest son, David, was out shepherding the flocks. David, the youngest; David, the smallest; David, the one who was always overlooked. He was the one God had chosen, and we now know him as King David, the revered Bible hero who slew a giant, a man after God’s own heart, and ancestor of the King of Kings, Jesus Christ.